You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
