you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
