They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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