Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
