Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
