There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
