so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
