We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
