real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
wakey wakey hands off snakey
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
