You work out of a Hotel?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
