We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
