Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
