But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So many bounce houses so little time
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize