Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
