Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
