Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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