I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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