i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
