Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
