apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
