Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
