dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
