hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
