what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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