you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
