I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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