Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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