just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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