I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
