Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
