You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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