living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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