AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
