And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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