I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
