its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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