Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
