1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize