After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
