physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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