Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
