We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
