bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
