i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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