Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
