maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
