we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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