Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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