Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
