I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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