I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
