we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
