i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
