i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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