The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
