Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
