My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
