I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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