I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
