Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
