Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
