you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
