I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
