I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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