Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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