so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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